How I'd Like the Next Generation's School Days to Be...

Teacher:

Crookshanks! Voldemort! Please could you get off that desk and sit down? OK, Merlin, can you hand out the tests for me?

Girl 1:

What did I get on mine?

Girl 2:

Spoilers!

Teacher:

I heard that, River.

Girl 1:

But I'm really worried, I think I got question 14b wrong...

Teacher:

Actually, Hermione, you got 112%.

*****

Boy 1:

I don't understand question six.

Boy 2:

Me neither, but when the teacher walked past, I noticed her breathing rate pick up slightly when my pen was over Option D, so I put that.

Boy 1:

I suppose it's your name...

Boy 2:

My parents like me to make deductions, yes.

Boy 1:

It's alright for you, Sherlock. Mine like me to get bad marks - apparently it fits with the name Neville.

*****

Teacher:

Fred, will you collect the papers back in?

Boy 3:

I'm not Fred, I'm George.

Teacher:

Oh for goodness' sake, you're not even identical!

Boy 3:

One of these days...

Boy 4:

When we're running our joke shop...

Boy 3:

We'll invent disguises...

Boy 4:

And then you'll see.

*****

Teacher:

That's the end of the lesson.

Boy 5:

*Jumps out of window* Dobby... Dobby is free!

Girl 3:

Dobby, you bad, bad boy! Students is not meant to be freed until the bell rings.

Teacher:

It's OK, Winky, you can go too...